Change

All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another. 
--- Anatols France

Change is a great, wonderful, difficult, painful, happy and sad constant in our lives.  It is great because it gives way for something new and occasionally better.  This is the same reason it is wonderful.  It gives us room to grow.  It is difficult because it brings something new and we grieve the old.  At the very least we notice the absence of what is no more.  Becoming accustomed to what is now can be painful as you adjust to something new.  This is especially painful when you do not want to let go.  However, even in that there is happiness with the realization of the freedom now afforded you.  Eventually this happiness will overcome the sadness and grief of loss if you let it.

This is my blessing.  As I begin to walk smoothly on my two feet I let go of being catered to and the overwhelming kindness strangers show my struggle.  I embrace the new strength and ability I will find.

Growth

It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

--- Agnes Repplier

We all grow older but not necessarily wiser.  While I am still walking gingerly it has not escaped me how I am growing.  My foot is healing and that in its own way is a growth process.  Also, these past few weeks I have had to depend on others for a lot of help and support as I recover.  This is growth. 

I was raised to be very independent and not rely on others for help.  Being unable to do many things for myself (carrying my own plate) added insult to my injury.  I now realize that this situation developed so that I would have an opportunity to grow.  I accomplished many more things during my recovery because I asked for help.  It would be easy to beat myself up about how many more things I could have accomplished over the course of my life if I had been prone to ask for help.  Instead I accept myself as I am, acknowledge my growth and continue to move forward.  This is growth.

It is hard from day to day to realize how much we grow, mature and evolve but we should aim to better ourselves always.

The Start Does Not Determine the Finish

"No matter how long you have traveled in the wrong direction, you always have the choice to turn around." - Unknown

Still hopping-a-long and not logging miles, however, the blessings keep being made clear.  This past week I began my final semester of graduate school.  On May 11, 2013 I will graduate from a prestigious, elite, Ivy League University with a Master's of Science in Education with a focus on School and Mental Health Counseling.  This is a blessing beyond measure for many reasons.  The first reason is I graduated high school with a 1.7 gpa.  It was not that high school was hard, it was actually quite the opposite.  High school was easy, life was hard.  I had many hurdles and difficulties to overcome long before I graduated from high school.  They distracted me, they made me withdraw from life. My grades reflected my struggle.  I slipped through the cracks mostly because while my grades were a problem I was not.  I was quiet, respectful and pleasant.  Most teachers thought I was just lazy.  Regardless the reason, I slipped through the system managed to get into college and worked hard.  The beginning of my college education was rough but I am working towards a great finish.   I plan to graduate with a gpa of 3.8 or better and am on course to do so.  The best part of this accomplishment is the other women of color from less than desirable starts, deem to be on the losing side of statistics I will hopefully inspire.

We do not always understand the path we are on or why we must do and go through the things we must but regardless of where we start or go through, we can change course and overcome our circumstances to have a wonderful ending.

Faith

Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see.   - Hebrews 11:1 The partner to hope is faith.  It is great to be able to hope for better but you have to have faith it will come happen.  I discovered this while still in my boot.  In the days before my one month visit to the doctor some people asked if I was worried.  I wasn't I hoped everything would go well with my surgery and had faith that it would.  It helped me to not be sad or anxious or nervous as my appointment approached.  This does not mean I was not aware of the risks and the potential they could happen to me I simply hoped they would not and had faith that I would be ok.  There was a short time I entertained some of the less desirable thoughts, the what ifs...my conclusion was even if the undesirable happens I will be ok.  That's the other side of faith.  Faith that the unknown will be ok. Ten days into the New Year and no miles logged but many blessings acknowledged and yet to come.

Hope

Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.   - Albert Einstein

In recent days I have come to realize how important this quote is.  It is truly a blessing to have hope.  With the tragedies we witness, the difficulties we endure, the disappointment we experience it can be hard to have and especially keep hope alive.  Having hope that tomorrow will be better is just as important as leaving yesterday in the past and learning from it.  Learning from the past helps you to avoid negative situations.  This is important to avoid becoming hopeless, being hopeless is painful.  It is a desperate and lonely place.  It is a place you don't have to be, if you don't want to.  Having hope, keeping hope, being hope is a conscious daily decision.  Discover where your hope lies and make a conscious decision to grow it, nurture it and love it.  If you try you can turn the most hopeless situation around in time.  Having hope is a blessing, a blessing worth growing.

There's No Such Thing as Mistakes

Whether it is my current dilemma with my foot, my bestie not finding her happily ever after till after 30 or being denied a position you want, I firmly believe there is no such thing as a mistake.  Or a coincidence for that matter.  There is a divine design and everything happens in the time and place it should.  One of the reasons things happen in a certain time or fashion is you have to be ready for them.  You have to be ready to accomplish the task, learn the lesson, embrace the event.  This means you have to be prepared.  My foot surgery happened when and how it was supposed to happen so that everything else in life could fall in place around it.  If I  was not working towards my Master's in Counseling I would have been less aware of the needs and wants of the differently abled.  I would not take as much away to help me in my practice later.  Had my surgery occurred earlier I probably would not have let my foot heal properly because I would have been too stubborn to stay off of it.  My independence was too strong, my interdependence has grown enough for this to be the optimal time for this event to occur.

Thus, the blessing I take away from today is my life has a purpose and a plan.  Nothing happens by mistake or coincidence rather it happens at the time it should, when I am ready or need it to.

Pushed and Trusting I'll Fly

Still in the boot, so no miles today.  The blessing I am aware of today is...Oftentimes we know what needs to happen we simply have difficulty making it happen.  That's when, if we have faith, pray and believe, God steps in and moves us to where we need to be.  It is an uncomfortable place we usually don't want to be and at times try to resist but it is for our best.  God gives us a little push, knowing we can fly.  That is where the faith prayer and belief come in.  If we have faith God moves us to where we need to be and know we can handle, we pray for His help, strength and guidance to see us through believing He will never leave or forsake us.  This is a blessing.  Without it we can become stagnate and in places/situations that no longer serve us.

I know some people reading this blog may not believe in God.  If that is the case, I do think there is a common belief that things happen for a reason and our lives work together through the energy of one person's life acting on another's.  When this energy is positive it causes a positive ripple effect of change in other's lives.  Living, not simply being alive, will cause us to stretch to grow into what we need to be.  This will push us into situations but it is ok...we can fly.